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After Your Miscarriage

Ways to cope

It’s normal for feelings of grief and memories to return throughout the year. It can happen during the holiday season, the anniversary of your loss or pregnancy, or your due date. Look ahead on your calendar and plan something special for yourself so it isn’t so hard on the upcoming day, anniversary, or holiday.

Many families find planning to do something to honour their baby can be healing. This is one of the ways you can continue to remember and parent your baby.

Part of the healing process is taking care of your physical, mental, social, and spiritual health. You may find yourself switching between getting by, getting better, and grieving. Find ways that work for you and try new ways to relax and look after yourself.

Emotionally

  • Admit you’ve had a loss.
  • Take time for yourself. Get a massage, listen to music, read, or paint.
  • Take time to look at special mementos or your memory box.
  • Create a place that’s calm and relaxed with soft lighting and comforting music.
  • Practice mindfulness or meditation.
  • Write a letter to your baby, write in your journal, or blog.
  • Let yourself be angry and find healthy ways to express it.

Physically

  • Take care of yourself and drink lots of water. Tears can be dehydrating.
  • Make sure you eat. If this is hard, eat small amounts more often.
  • Stay active. It will help you sleep and give you more energy.
  • Try to keep your normal bedtime routine.
  • Practice yoga – even a few minutes before bed can help you sleep better.

Socially

  • Reach out to loved ones and support persons.
  • Let friends and family help out with cooking, housework, or errands.
  • You may feel jealous of people with babies or pregnant women. This is normal and doesn’t mean you‘re a bad person.
  • Do things you enjoy.

Spiritually

  • Take part in spiritual or religious activities.
  • Find ways to remember your baby during holidays (for example, a special ornament).
  • Make time to remember.
  • Go to events like a candle-lighting ceremony or a walk to remember.
  • Plant a tree or your favourite flowers to help you remember your baby.

Supporting family

During a loss, the focus is often on the parents. But, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and other children may have also been excited about the pregnancy. They may also be grieving the loss of hopes and dreams they had with a pregnancy.

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