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After Your Stillbirth

Finding Support

Talk about your grief and how you feel with your partner. Talking to a caring family member or friend can also help you deal with your feelings. Some people close to you may not understand why you feel the way you do.

Sometimes it can be hard to find the right words when you try to talk about your loss. You may wish to write out your thoughts and share this with your partner. Or you may want to write a letter to your baby about how you feel and what you had wished for them. This can help create a special memory or keepsake about your baby.

You and your partner may choose to get professional support like a grief counsellor or attend a support group. Many parents find that meeting with other parents, who have been through a similar experience, can be a meaningful and helpful way to cope with their own grief. Other parents in a support group will know and understand many of the feelings you have.

Some ways of coping with grief are less effective and can lead to more problems. Some of these behaviours include:

  • working too much
  • use of alcohol or substances
  • more time away from your home or partner
  • withdrawal from your partner

Try to be aware of and limit these behaviours. It will often take time to learn how to cope in better ways and be patient with yourself and your partner.

Be aware of signs you or your partner may be experiencing relationship issues or depression. Common symptoms of depression include:

  • significant lack of sleep
  • oversleeping
  • issues with healthy eating
  • strong expressions of guilt
  • blaming yourself
  • thoughts of suicide

Counselling and crisis support is available for you and your partner. Call 811 if you need help right away or see the resource section.

Options for Support

You’re not alone. Other families have gone through similar situations and understand your experiences and feelings. Often it can be very helpful to connect with another grieving families. You can do so by connecting with one or more of the following resources:

  • Pregnancy or infant loss grief counsellor
  • Peer support group or bereavement group
  • Memorial events
  • Events of remembrance
  • Private counselling
  • Couples counselling
  • Books, videos or articles
  • Parent blogs
Speak to a counsellor

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