Children and teens often show stress in ways that look very different from adult stress reactions. Recognizing these stress reactions can help you guide and support them in feeling safe and understood.

​Why this matters

When you know what to look for, you can:

• Offer support that children and teens need, like “We’re safe, and I’m here to protect you.”
• Keep or rebuild comforting routines that children and teens are used to.
• Talk about children and teens’ feelings in a way that fits their age and level of understanding.

Common stress reactions in children and teenagers

Under 5 years old:

• more afraid to be left alone
• changes in appetite
• whining or clinging
• need more soothing or sucking
• startle easier
• have new fears

6 to 12 years old:

• get quieter and withdraws more
• go back to behaviours they did when younger
• have problems concentrating or following instructions
• more acting out behaviours
• have problems at school
• fight more with siblings
• repeat the same scenes of the stressful event when playing

Teens:

• trouble sleeping
• eat too much or not enough
• act out or rebel more
• have problems at school
• physical problems like headaches, aches and pains, or bowel problems
• get depressed or lose interest in social activities
• get quieter and withdraw
• higher or lower energy level
• give in to group or peer pressure

How you can help yourself and your family

Look after your own well-being. As a parent, your reaction to a traumatic event is how your children and teens will learn to cope. When you support your own well-being, you are supporting your family’s well-being.

Look after yourself:

• Get enough sleep.
• Eat well and drink water to fuel your brain and body.
• Stay active.
• Take some time each day just for you.

Model healthy coping:

• Name your emotions out loud, like “I’m feeling frustrated right now.”
• Share what you plan to do about it, like “I’m going to take a short walk to calm down and I’ll be back to talk about this.”
• Let your kids see you use these coping strategies.

Reach out for help:

• Talk with family, friends, or faith or cultural groups.
• Connect with healthcare providers if you need their support.

By caring for yourself and showing your children and teenagers how you cope, you help them learn tools to manage their own stress and build resilience.

General ways to help your children or teenagers after a disaster or emergency

• Reassure safety. Remind them you’ll protect them and keep them safe.
• Re-establish routines. Stick to regular mealtimes, bedtimes, schoolwork, activities, and family activities.
• Listen to and encourage talking about feelings. Listen to your child or teen’s feelings or concerns without judgment. Let them know that their feelings are normal and it’s OK to feel angry or sad.
• Talk about the disaster. Discuss the disaster or emergency in ways that are appropriate for your child or teen’s age and level of understanding. Let your child know that you want to hear their point of view and that you want to listen to their questions and concerns.
• Correct misinformation. Kids may think they know what happened, but they may not have received information that is correct. Ask what they’ve heard and clarify any misunderstandings.
• Limit media. Seeing graphic or upsetting images often can be distressing, especially for small children who may think it is happening every time they see it. Limit TV and social media access and watch only when necessary.
• Help others in recovery. Encourage your teen to take part in safe community recovery work after the disaster or emergency event, like cleanup work, fundraising, or organizing donations to restore a sense of purpose. Younger kids can write thank-you cards to first responders.
• Connect with others. Encourage and support contact with friends, relatives, and organizations. Children and teenagers who have strong social supports are more likely to cope better and be more resilient.
• Look for helpers. Find stories of heroes and people helping each other. Children and teenagers can also find the ways people are helping each other and see the good things that are happening too.
• Encourage healthy habits. Provide balanced meals, daily activity, and consistent sleep to lower anxiety and aid recovery.
• Plan for future disasters.

Helping your younger child

• Offer extra hugs, comfort items, and help them feel safe and secure. Offer reassurance, especially at bedtime.
• Give your child a chance to play with other children, be with other children their age, and be active.
• Encourage creative outlets like drawing, dancing, or playing an instrument.
• Do low pressure activities with them, like crafts or games.
• Check in on schoolwork and offer gentle help if they are struggling.

Helping your teen

• Encourage, but don’t force, your teenager to talk about the event.
• Respect their need for privacy but stay available when they want to talk.
• Lighten your expectations for school and home while they adjust.
• Encourage your teenager to be involved in regular social activities or clubs.
• Monitor social media, as older children and teens may see inappropriate or disturbing content on it. If they do see something disturbing, talk about it and correct any misinformation to decrease anxiety.

When should you seek extra help

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can affect children and teens after witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event. If your child or teen’s response to a disaster or emergency is seriously affecting their home life, school life, or friendships and the changes are lasting more than a few weeks, reach out for support from a healthcare provider.

Recovery Alberta has a list of immediate help or support resources, as well as information on how to find services in your community.