Overview

Social interactions are how your child connects and shares with other people. This includes talking, listening, looking, facial expressions, and actions. These back-and-forth exchanges help children learn important skills, like thinking, communicating, and understanding others.

Your baby starts learning to interact from the moment they’re born, usually with you and family members. These early interactions are simple. Your baby might smile at you. You smile back and say, “Hello!” This teaches your baby that their actions get a response from you.

As your child grows, they interact with more people, and their social skills become more advanced. For example, a preschooler might ask a friend, “You wanna play?” and then build with blocks together. This shows they’re learning to cooperate and use language with other children.

Some children join social interactions easily. Other children may need extra help from parents and caregivers to feel comfortable and learn how to connect with others.

Learning to engage

Your child is engaged when they pay attention, show interest, and keep focus. For example, they might be engaged while stacking blocks or listening to a story. With time and practice, they learn to stay engaged in an activity for longer time or for more turns.

Your child can engage with objects, people, or both. When your child can engage with both, and shift their attention between objects like toys and people, we call this joint engagement.

Some children prefer to engage with objects or spend time alone. They’re less likely to engage with people or to shift their attention between people and objects. These children might need extra help to engage with people to build their social interaction skills.

Follow your child’s interests

A great way to start an interaction is to follow your child’s interests. When you focus on what your child likes, they’re more likely to notice, connect, and want to interact with you.

Discover your child’s interests. Get on their level so you can see their face and actions. Look to see what your child is interested in. Your child may show interest in different ways, like:

• smiling or changing their facial expression
• reaching, pointing, looking, or moving their body toward something

Some interests are easy to see, like staring at a toy or playing with the same thing over and over. Other signs might be small, like a quick glance or a slight smile.

Listen to their sounds and words and how they use them. Your child may make engine noises while playing. Your child might babble while looking at a mobile to tell you they’re interested.

You can learn what your child is interested in when you look and listen. By following your child’s interest, they are more likely to interact with you.

Join them in their interests. Your child has their own interests, way of playing, and doing activities. Sit near them and play beside them using your own toys or objects.

Copy what they’re doing. If they’re pouring water in a bucket, pour water in your own bucket. If they’re lining up toy animals, start your own line. Let them lead the activity. Try not to change how they’re playing or tell them what to do.

These small steps help build connection and engagement. When your child sees you joining their world, they’re more likely to invite you in.

Take turns

Taking turns is an important part of how your child learns to interact with others. It’s like a game of tennis. Your child serves and you return the serve. These back-and-forth interactions help build connection, communication, and social skills.

Even very young children can learn to take turns in simple ways. It may take time and practice, but the goal is to have fun and stay connected.

Once your child notices you, by looking at you, smiling, making a sound, or reaching toward you, you can build on that by keeping the interaction going.

Wait with interest

Pause and wait for a few seconds. Look at your child with a warm expression, like you expect them to take a turn. For example, your child babbles while holding a toy. You wait with a smile to show that you're interested in what they’ll do next.

Use a gesture or action

Respond with a simple movement or action that matches what your child is doing. For example, when your child claps, copy them. If they roll a ball, roll the ball back to them.

Make a comment

Say something about what your child is doing or looking at. Keep it short and simple. For example, “You’re stacking the blocks so high!” or “Hop! Hop! Hop!”

Pause for your child to fill in the blank

Start a sentence and leave space for your child to finish it, even if it’s just with a sound or gesture. For example, “Ready, set,” pause and wait for your child to say, “Go!” Or smile or point.

Give your child a choice

Offer 2 options to help them respond. For example, “Do you want the red cup or the blue one?”

Ask a question

Keep questions simple and open ended. For example, “What should we build next?” or “Where did the duck go?”

Your child can take turns in lots of ways. Their turn might be a look, movement, word, or sentence. It doesn’t matter how your child takes a turn, focus on keeping them engaged and having fun.

Use routines

A routine is when you do the same steps in the same order, every time.

Routines can help your child with social interactions. They make social moments easier to follow. When a child knows what will happen next, they can focus on looking, listening, and taking turns. Repeating the same pattern gives them many chances to take a turn and build confidence in social communication.

Create a routine and help your child take a turn.

1. Choose an activity.
2. Set simple steps. Think of words and actions that go with each step.
3. Repeat the routine with your child, doing the steps in the same order every time.
4. Get your child to take a turn. Pause the routine and wait for your child to take a turn with a gesture, sound or word.
5. When your child is comfortable, expand the routine by helping them take more turns.

You can create routines in daily living skills, play, and people games. Learn more about helping your child thrive with routines.

People games

People games are interactive activities played between people, without toys. They’re predictable and follow a pattern, like peek-a-boo, tickling, and chasing. People games often include movement or music, like nursery rhymes with actions. For example, Pat-a-cake.

Your child can participate in people games by following along, trying the actions, or saying the words. Children who don’t talk can engage with movements, facial expressions, and sounds. People games help your child build social and communication skills by encouraging connection, interaction, and turn taking.

Create a people game

Follow the instructions below to create a people game.

1. Choose a people game

Choose a people game based on what your child enjoys and their sensory preferences. Sensory preferences are how your child reacts to different sensations, like sounds, textures, lights, and movement. Some children like bright lights, music, and movement. Others prefer gentle touch and quiet spaces. Learn more about sensory processing in children.

Choosing activities that your child likes will create more engaging games. This increases your child’s interactions and opportunities to learn new skills. If your child likes:

• running: play chasing or tag games
• spinning: try ring around the rosie
• jumping: try 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed
• rocking: try row, row, row your boat
• gentle touch: try tickling
• deep pressure: play games with a big hug
• watching: play peek-a-boo
• music: sing songs or play rhythmic clapping games, like If you’re happy and you know it

You can make up your own people game using the activities your child enjoys. Then, give your people game a name. For example, if you play chase with a child who likes running, say, “Let’s play Chase.

2. Set simple steps

Set simple steps, in order, with words and actions. For example:

1. Your child runs from you.
2. You chase your child and say, “I’m going to get you.”
3. When you catch your child say, “I got you!”
4. Last, release your child and ask, “Again?” while pumping your arms like you’re running.

3. Repeat

Repeat the steps over and over so your child can learn how to follow along.

4. Get your child to take a turn

Get your child to take a turn by pausing at an exciting part. Look at your child like you want them to do something. Wait for them to take their turn with an action or a word. Watch for subtle ways your child might take a turn like a look, smile, or reach.

For example, after you say, “Again?” while pumping your arms, wait for your child to take a turn. Your child may take a turn by looking back at you, pumping their arms, or saying, “Again.”

If your child doesn’t take a turn:

• slowly start the action that comes next and see if they join you
• slowly start saying the word that comes next and see if they say it with you

Or, show them what comes next to help them continue to learn the steps.

5. Expand the game

Expand the game by adding new steps or more turns. For example, offer your child a choice before starting the game again. Ask, “Do you want to chase me now?”