Hi and welcome to this video about practicing emotional regulation.
My name is Christina and I'm a pediatric psychologist with Alberta Health Services.
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Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, manage, and respond to emotions.
This is a skill that children develop with time, practice, and help.
Parents and caregivers can help by talking throughout the day about emotions and ways to handle them.
There are lots of chances to point out feelings in daily activities.
You'll learn some ideas in this video.
You can help your child understand and accept their feelings by talking about them out loud.
Feelings are important because they give us information about our needs, environment, and relationships.
Here are some ways to help your child notice and talk about feelings.
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There are lots of great books that talk about different feelings.
Start by looking in your local library.
As you read, ask your child about times they've had those feelings.
Make a game of guess the feeling.
Take turns using only your facial expression and body posture to show an emotion.
The other person guesses what the emotion is.
Use drawings or pictures.
Draw pictures together of faces showing different emotions.
You could also draw a body and have your child color the place where they feel a certain emotion, like anger or worry.
Post a feelings chart or pictures of faces with different expressions to help you remember to talk about feelings in everyday conversations.
For children who aren't able to say how they're feeling, pointing to the chart or pictures can help them express their emotions.
[Parent] Show me how you feel.
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The goal is to make naming and talking about feelings a regular activity.
This helps your child to understand it's normal to have lots of feelings and all feelings are OK.
Now that you are talking about feelings, you can help your child develop emotional regulation skills.
One way to help your child develop their emotional regulation skills is to talk about characters in shows or movies.
Point out the feelings the characters are having and talk about how they respond to those feelings.
[Parent] Wow, it looks like the girl's upset because she missed the ball.
Oh, look, she took a minute to calm down, and then she tried again.
Do you think she made a good choice?
[Christina] Show them when there's a problem with the character's response.
Point out to your child when characters don't handle emotions well.
[Parent] It looks like she got really angry when they lost the game, and then she pushed her friend.
That's not the best way to handle her anger.
[Christina] Ask your child for their ideas of better ways to handle the problem before adding your own.
[Parent] What could she have done instead?
[Child] Maybe she could have walked away and taken some deep breaths to calm down again.
[Christina] Encourage positive choices.
[Parent] Yes, she could have also talked about how she's feeling with an adult or friend.
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One thing to keep in mind is that your child learns best when they're calm.
When they're in the middle of a meltdown, it's not the right time to teach them a lesson.
Help your child practice emotional regulation skills when they're calm.
Then they'll be more able to use these skills when they're upset.
Let them know that they can express their feelings in ways that are safe for them and those around them.
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Talk to them about ways they can help their body return to calm when emotions get big.
Slowing down their breath and moving their body can help your child feel settled.
Ask your child for their ideas of what would help them and add your own.
Some children like to have a special place in the house where they can go to reset their emotions.
This area might have soft pillows or stuffed animals, stress balls to squeeze, and paper to rip.
When your child is calm, let them explore this area and show them things they can do there.
Encourage your child to move their body to release tension.
Practice together by squeezing and relaxing the muscles in your face, hands, arms, and legs.
When you notice your child having big emotions, you can invite them to pause for a break.
Take slow, deep breaths together until you see their body relax.
Or use one of their ideas for calming their body.
To help your child handle their big feelings, you can model emotional regulation skills.
Even as an adult, there are times when it's hard to manage strong emotions.
Reflect on the positive ways you handle your emotions and practice these skills regularly.
[Child 2] He shoots! The crowd goes…
[Christina] When you're feeling frustrated or upset, let your child know how you're feeling.
Say out loud what you will do to regulate yourself.
[Parent] I'm feeling angry right now.
I'm going to take a break to breathe and let my body calm down.
I might need to take a walk around the block.
I just need to take a minute to remind myself that it's OK to feel this way and I can handle this.
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Learning about emotions and how to handle them is a skill that we all keep building throughout our lives.
Keep talking about and practicing emotional regulation skills with your child daily.
Start by naming your child's feelings, even if they're not talking yet.
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As they get older, keep the conversation going.
Remember to be patient as your child is learning.
When new situations come up, have discussions about emotions and how to handle them.
Keep in mind, children with learning or attention difficulties and children who have lots of intense emotions may need more time and help to practice emotional regulation skills.
Let your child know it's natural to feel anger, sadness and fear.
We need a full range of emotions in life.
For all of us, emotions will come and go throughout the day.
Some feelings are pleasant to experience, while others are difficult.
When we accept our feelings, we allow them to pass more quickly and easily.
We hope you've learned some ideas to help your child develop emotional regulation skills.
You don't have to use all the ideas presented in this video.
Find what works for you and your child.
If you're worried or have questions about your child's behavior or social emotional development, talk to your doctor or healthcare provider.
Find information, support, and services for you and your child by clicking on the link in the description.
For 24/7 nurse advice and general health information call Health Link at 811.
