Overview

As a parent, you are the ideal teacher to help your child learn about sex. Talking openly about sexuality helps your child understand their feelings, and it can help them have a positive attitude toward a natural process.

It's best to keep your explanations honest and simple. A 6-year-old child won't need the details that a child who's entering puberty may need. A good way to gauge readiness is to first find out what your child thinks the answer might be to their own question. Then give as little or as much information as you think is needed.

Keep up these talks over time, and let your child know that you are open to answering any questions they have.

Some common things to discuss may include:

• Masturbation or playing doctor.

  Children are naturally curious. Masturbation and games like "doctor" are common ways for children to learn about their own bodies and compare them to others. If you find your child masturbating or playing doctor, try not to react with anger or make your child feel ashamed or embarrassed. Instead, use this chance to teach your child about sexuality and about the differences between public and private activities.

• Where babies come from.

  Many young children ask where babies live before they are born. These questions can be answered with simple, accurate language your child understands. For example, you could say, “When a sperm joins an egg, a baby grows in the uterus and is born through the vagina”. If your child asks more questions, you may want to read them an age-appropriate book on the subject. Be prepared to answer more questions as well.

• Sex organs and their purpose.

  Children may ask questions about their genitals from a young age. From birth, they can be taught the proper names of their genitals, just like they learn to name the rest of their body parts. They should know what their genitals are for and the role of sex in how babies are made.

• Respect and care for the body.

  Children are naturally interested in knowing about their own genitals and sex. Bath time is a great opportunity to teach your child about how to take care of their body.

• Reassurance about their body shape.

  School-age children may worry about their size or appearance, or they may feel there is something wrong with their body. It's common for children around age 8 to become more modest and to avoid undressing in front of others. It may help to explain that bodies come in a wide range of sizes and shapes and that nearly all children their age have the same concerns.

Many groups offer classes that you can attend with your older child. These may address sexuality, what to expect during puberty, and similar topics. This may make it easier for you to start ongoing talks with your child. You can also visit the Alberta website TeachingSexualHealth.ca to help you teach your child about sexuality.