There are two ways to wean. Gradual weaning happens over time. It lets your baby have more control over when to stop breastfeeding. Abrupt weaning happens all at once. Which style you use will depend on your preferences, why you plan to wean, and how often your baby breastfeeds.

Gradual weaning

One way to let a baby control weaning is through the "don't offer, don't refuse" method. This means that you never offer to breastfeed your child. But you don't refuse when your child asks or shows a desire to breastfeed.

This can be a slow process. But when you're committed to weaning and provide encouragement, your baby can wean successfully and happily.

These tips may help you gradually wean your baby:

• Make your breasts less available for nursing.

  Stop wearing nursing clothing such as nursing bras and tops with nursing slits. Wear more layers of clothing, or wear clothing that is less easily adapted to nursing. The baby may demand to nurse less often because of the lack of easy access. This technique is usually combined with other techniques.

• Shorten each breastfeeding session before stopping it completely.

  A baby may just need a minute or two at the breast, more for comfort than for food. When the baby has had a minute or two, urge the child to stop and interest them in something else.

• Postpone breastfeeding sessions.

  Tell your baby that you'll nurse later, such as after you finish preparing dinner. This will space out sessions until you can eventually postpone a whole nursing session until the next one. It may also allow your baby to become distracted before the breastfeeding ever begins.

• Substitute food, drinks, or comfort for breastfeeding.

  If your child still uses breastfeeding as a primary way of satisfying hunger or thirst, be ready with other foods and drinks before your child asks to breastfeed. (Milk or water is better than juice because of the high sugar content of juice.) If your baby isn't hungry or thirsty, encourage the use of a comfort object, such as a stuffed animal, blanket, or doll. Offer it often. Also substitute close cuddling without breastfeeding. A child may fear that weaning means losing that comforting sense of being held.

• Distract your baby.

  Make life so interesting and busy that your baby forgets to ask to breastfeed. Read a book to your baby while holding them on your lap (which provides close contact). Or suggest a walk, a ride on a tricycle, or a trip to a playground or sandbox. Distractions can be time-consuming, but they work well.

Abrupt weaning

You may prefer to abruptly wean your baby from the breast. This approach may be best suited for a baby who nurses fewer than 3 times a day.

When weaning abruptly, choose a time when you don't expect other major changes in your or your baby's life and when you have extra time to spend with your child.

The following tips may help.

• Say "no," and offer distractions.

  Try reading a book while holding your baby on your lap. This provides the close contact your child wants. Or suggest a walk, a ride on a tricycle, or a trip to a playground or sandbox.

• Make your breasts less available for nursing.

  Stop wearing nursing clothing such as nursing bras and tops with nursing slits. Wear more layers of clothing, or wear clothing that is less easily adapted to nursing.

• Let someone else take care of your baby for a few days.

  Your child should stay with a trusted caregiver, such as a spouse, grandparent, or other family member. Since you aren't available for breastfeeding, your child will adjust to the other caregivers. Over time, your child will come to accept that breastfeeding isn't needed. If you are gone for less than a week, your child may ask to breastfeed again when you return. But your child is likely to accept a refusal without too much complaining.

Getting past barriers

There may be times when you want to stop breastfeeding, but your baby shows signs of wanting to continue. If possible, keep breastfeeding a while longer. If you can't, then try these tips:

• Offer breast milk pumped from your breast, formula, or whole cow's milk (if your baby is 9 to 12 months of age and eating a variety of iron-rich foods) in a cup or bottle. Do this before you breastfeed or between breastfeedings. Slowly increase the amount in the cup or bottle. If possible, have someone else feed your baby with a bottle or cup.
• If your baby spits out the bottle nipple when first starting to bottle-feed, keep trying. Experiment with different nipple types. It often takes time for a breastfed baby to get used to an artificial nipple. Or it may be time to use a cup.
• If your weaned baby wants to nurse again, try giving your baby extra hugs and attention instead of going back to the old way of feeding.

Learn more

Here are some tips for weaning your baby from the bottle:

• Don't allow the baby to carry the bottle around.

  This can help prevent injuries if your baby falls. It also can help keep the bottle from being a comfort item for your baby.

• Help transfer the baby's attachment from the bottle to another comfort object.

  When your baby asks for the bottle outside of meal or snack time, encourage the use of a comfort object, such as a stuffed animal, blanket, or doll. For example, tie an empty bottle securely around the neck of a favourite stuffed animal or other comfort object, then remove the bottle after your baby thinks of the new object as the source of comfort (after a few days or weeks). Make sure the bottle is tied securely and that the string has no slack or loose ends that could become wrapped around your baby's neck and cause choking.

• Make changes in the baby's routine, especially the rituals that are connected to bottle-feeding.

  For example, after a fall, comfort your baby with hugs and attention rather than the bottle.

• Keep the baby busy with new activities.

  This can be in the home or in a museum, at a zoo, or at a playground.

• Make a cup part of weaning.

  Make using a cup part of your baby's solid-meal routine. Then, over time, stop their bottle-feedings.

• Take the bottle away, and make it an event.

  Make a big announcement that "today is the day you'll eat like a big kid." Celebrate by having your baby throw out the old nipples and bottles and by taking them to the store to pick out a personal cup. The bottle may be a comfort object, so replace it with hugs and attention or another comfort object, such as a stuffed animal.

• Be ready for feeding time.

  When feeding time approaches, offer your baby a snack. If this is filling, it may take the child's mind off the feeding.

Getting past barriers

Some babies grow attached to the bottle and do not want to give it up. Here are some common behaviours and suggestions on how to deal with them.

Your baby always wants to have a bottle in his or her mouth.

Do not let your baby crawl, walk around, or go to bed with a bottle. This will make him or her more prone to dental cavities (caries). Also, a baby with a bottle or other object in his or her mouth is at risk for face and mouth injuries if he or she were to fall. Offer a stuffed toy or blanket for comfort instead of a bottle.

Your baby does not want to give up the bedtime bottle.

Bottle-feeding at bedtime can often be part of your baby's regular routine. This feeding is usually the hardest to give up. Cuddle your baby often, and gradually replace the bedtime bottle ritual with a new one. For example, 1 to 2 hours before bedtime give your baby something to eat or drink. (Don't give your baby cow's milk until he or she is 9 to 12 months of age and eating a variety of iron-rich foods.) Then at bedtime, brush your baby's teeth, give him or her a bath, or read a storybook instead of offering a bottle.

Your 18-month-old still drinks from a bottle.

Start using a cup to feed your child if you have not already. Dilute the liquid in the bottle to make it less tasty.

Your weaned baby wants to bottle-feed again.

Try giving your baby extra hugs and attention instead of going back to the old way of feeding.

Learn more