Self-harm or self-injury is when a person hurts themself on purpose without wanting to end their life.
It can happen at any age, and it’s more common among young people (around ages 12 to 24) than any other age group. Self-harm often starts in the pre-teen or early teen years.
Self-harm can affect a person of any gender, identity, or background. It can also happen among 2SLGBTQIA+ youth.
People may self-harm often, sometimes every day, or only do it once. Some people use self-harm to help them deal with difficult feelings, stress, and emotional pain.
People who self-harm need support without judgment, so they can find healthy ways of coping with problems and managing their feelings.
Forms of self-harm
Common ways people self-harm include:
- cutting
- scratching the skin to cause an injury
- biting or burning the skin
- picking at skin or stopping wounds from healing
- hitting yourself so hard it causes bruising or broken bones
- taking more or less of a medicine than the prescribed dose
- eating or drinking toxic (poisonous) substances
- wearing very tight or uncomfortable clothing
- engaging in high-risk behaviours (like substance use, unsafe sexual activity, unsafe online challenges, reckless driving, or violence)
When a person self-harms, they may accidentally hurt themself more than they mean to, or injured area could get infected.
Reasons people self-harm
Self-harm doesn't solve problems, but for some people, it can feel like a relief from strong feelings, or it may give them a sense of control.
There are many reasons for self-harm, including to:
- cope with difficult emotions, like fear, sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, self-loathing, or loneliness
- relieve emotional pain by feeling physical (body) pain
- manage stress or overwhelming situations
- distract from overwhelming emotions, thoughts, and life situations
- use your body to tell others about a problem that you can’t or don’t want to talk about
- punish yourself or cope with shame
- get a sense of control over your body, emotions, or thoughts
- feel a release of endorphins (chemicals in the brain that help you feel good) that can make you feel better for a very short time, give a higher pain tolerance, or improve mood
- feel something when you’re numb or disconnected
Everyone's experience is different. Self-harm is always a sign of emotional distress.
People do not self-harm to get attention.
What you can do
If you know a person who self-harms, it’s normal to feel frustrated, scared, or unsure of how to help.
Remember that self-harm is a sign that a person is in distress. Talk with them calmly, with compassion and care.
Here are some things you can do to help:
- Have an open, caring, and honest conversation with the person.
- Offer support without judging or criticizing.
- Ask what you can do to help, and tell them you are there to listen.
- Keep your own emotions under control. Do not overreact or show shock.
- Learn about self-harm and why someone might do it. Understanding this can make it easier to talk about and show empathy.
- Gently ask the person what feelings they’re trying to manage or change. The behaviour could be a way of showing they’re upset or reacting to what is upsetting them.
- Help the person think about more positive coping skills, such as talking, exercising, journalling, or mindfulness.
Most people who self-harm do not want to end their life. Their self-harm is used to deal with intense emotions and feelings.
But some people who self-harm may be at risk of suicide. Self-harm can be a warning sign and a risk factor for suicide.
People who self-harm may be at higher risk of suicide attempts than people who don't self-harm.
If someone is self-harming, it can help them to see a trained mental health professional. A professional can offer support, make sure the person is safe, and help them find healthier ways of coping.
If suicide is a concern
If you're concerned the person might be thinking about suicide (having suicidal thoughts), you can gently ask a few questions:
- Are you thinking about suicide?
- Do you have a plan?
- Do you have a way to carry out your plan?
If the person answers "yes" to any of the questions above, and you think the person is at risk of suicide
right now,
get help right away.
Getting help
Emergency
If the person is in danger or planning suicide right now, it is an emergency. Call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency department.
If their self-harm injuries are very bad, help them get medical attention as soon as possible.
Non-emergency
If the person is self-harming but is not in danger right now, see the following resources:
