When someone in the family is experiencing an addiction—also called a substance use disorder—it affects everyone in the family.
Substance use or gambling addictions often lead to health issues and problems at home.
Substances may be legal or illegal, like tobacco, alcohol, opioids, methamphetamines, and cannabis.
Gambling is risking money or valuables on something you can’t be sure will happen. Examples include betting on a sports game or playing machines at a casino.
Just like other chronic (long-term) health conditions, an addiction can be mild, moderate, or severe. But it can be treated successfully, and recovery is possible.
How addiction develops
There is no one reason or pathway to addiction. It is different for everyone. Many different things can contribute to addiction:
- genetics
- mental health, stress, or trauma
- how easy it is to get substances or gamble
- what’s normal in a person’s culture
A person might try a substance or gamble a few times without any problems. But over time, they may start to feel like they need to use the substance or gamble to feel OK. It becomes harder to stop, even when the substance use or gambling is causing harm.
When people keep doing something addictive—like using a drug or gambling—their brain starts to change. The brain is always learning, and it learns that this activity gives a strong feeling of pleasure. Over time, the brain begins to expect that feeling.
Because of these brain changes:
- The addictive activity starts to feel more important than other things.
- The person needs to do it more often to feel the same effect.
- It becomes harder to stop, even if they want to.
The actions that cause addiction get stronger because the brain is rewiring itself to focus on that activity. The brain learns, “This feels good—do it again,” and that message becomes louder over time.
Not everyone who uses a substance or gambles will develop an addiction. Anyone can go from no substance use or gambling towards addiction.
Addiction’s effects on the family
When someone in the family is living with an addiction to substances or gambling, it affects everyone differently.
Families often change how they act to keep things calm at home. These changes can accidentally make it easier for a loved one’s addiction to continue. This is called enabling.
Addiction affects families in different ways, depending on how severe the substance use or gambling is, how family members relate to each other, and what kinds of supports are available. Effects may include:
Conflict and stress
Family members may feel stressed and worried, leading to conflict and fighting in the family. This can affect everyone’s health and well-being.
Family members may:
- feel lonely, frustrated, afraid, angry, anxious, ashamed, or guilty
- hold back or ignore their feelings as a way to cope
- not believe their feelings are real or normal
- worry about being made fun of if they share how they feel
- not trust that anyone will listen or care
- feel hopeless
Communication, trust, and safety
Families may stop talking openly and keep the addiction secret from others. They may call the problem something else, like saying that a hangover is “the flu” or that the person’s alcohol use is a stress release.
Trust and bonds between family members might suffer. People in the home may be on guard for the next crisis or scene. The person with the addiction might break promises and not meet their responsibilities.
Family members, especially children, may fear that there won’t be anyone there to care for them. There might be a general feeling in the home of not feeling safe—physically or emotionally.
Ways of coping
When someone in the home is experiencing an addiction, family members may find unhealthy ways to cope.
They may take on extra responsibilities. Or take on roles that create unhealthy relationships within the family.
Sometimes other people in the family might also start using alcohol, drugs, or gambling as a way of coping with the problems.
Self-care
Taking care of yourself is important, even when someone you love is struggling.
Family members often spend a lot of time and energy worrying about the person who is using substances and less time caring for themselves.
They may skip meals, lose sleep, or stop doing things they enjoy because they are stressed or busy dealing with problems.
The addiction may also be causing money problems, making it harder to pay for healthy food or activities.
Over time, this can lead to family members feeling tired, sad, or even sick.
Addiction’s effects on children
When a family member, especially a parent or main caregiver, develops an addiction, it affects the children in the family.
Attachment
For healthy brain and body development, children need to feel safe, secure, and protected by their parent or main caregiver.
When a parent responds to their child’s needs, offers regular care, and is open with their feelings, the child develops trust—a secure attachment. This lets the child explore their world confidently, learning life skills and building healthy relationships.
When a parent has an addiction, it can harm attachment.
Signs a child is struggling
The way children connect with their parents can affect their whole life—how they feel, think, and relate to others.
When there is addiction in the family, children may feel worried, sad, guilty, or ashamed. They might keep these feelings inside and not talk about them. This can lead to problems like:
- trouble paying attention
- skipping school
- acting out
- feeling alone
- trying to please others
- using substances early
- taking on adult responsibilities too soon
Living with a parent who has an addiction is hard, but help is available and recovery is possible. With the right support, children can learn healthy coping skills and grow into strong, healthy adults.
Supporting a family member
When someone in your family is experiencing an addiction, it can help to find outside support from a support group, counsellor, spiritual advisor, or trusted people like family, friends, and neighbours.
For more information and to find recovery supports near you:
