What is body image?
Body image is how people feel about how they see themselves. Body image is an important part of your identity. Changes to the way people look can affect how they feel. Sexuality can be closely linked to body image.
How is body image related to sexuality?
Everyone is sexual, no matter their age, gender, sexual orientation, culture, or belief system.
Sexuality is about more than just behaviour. What this means is that sexuality is not just about sexual activity. A person can feel sexual, even if they aren’t having sex.
Sexuality may also be related to confidence and self-esteem. Sexuality may be affected by changes to your body image. Sexuality can mean something different for everyone and it can change over time.
Sexuality includes:
- a connection between your feelings, body, and behaviour
- body image
- your ability to have children
- how your sex organs work
How can cancer affect my body image?
Many people struggle with changes in their body image during or after their cancer treatment. Body changes related to your diagnosis and treatments can change the way you see yourself. Changes to your body may be temporary or permanent, but they’re all related to a change in your body image.
Some examples of changes to your body related to cancer are:
- body changes from surgery
- hair loss
- weight loss or gain
- having a stoma
- lymphedema
- decreased sensation
- loss of body parts or organs
- scars
- fatigue, loss of stamina, or loss of energy
- changes in how the sex organs work
- treatment-induced menopause
You may also feel differently about how you look, feel like your partner has changed their feelings about you, or worry about dating and what future partners will think about you.
I feel different now about myself and my body—what can I do?
Cancer and treatments can be challenges for your body image and sexual health. It’s common for your confidence to change after you’ve had cancer. Some people feel like their body let them down by getting sick. The more you can see your body for what it is and realize that you made it through your cancer treatment, the more helpful it can be.
Changes in self-image are common, but they aren’t always permanent. Talking about these changes can be very hard, but the more open you are to talk about it with your partner, friends, and family, the less isolated you’ll feel dealing with the changes. If you’d like more help, talk to:
Sometimes roles in relationships can also change. This might mean that you’re more dependent on your partner for a while. This can also affect how people feel about themselves.
It’s important to talk to your healthcare provider about your feelings, mood changes, or signs of depression or anxiety, which are common in people with cancer. About 4 out of 10 people with cancer feel very distressed, so it’s a good idea to see a doctor in case you need treatment. Anxiety and depression can be treated. Tell your doctor if you:
- feel sad almost every day
- are losing interest in activities and things you used to enjoy
- have trouble sleeping
- are more stressed or irritable, or you worry more
You can also think about seeing a counsellor for support.
I find it hard to undress in front of my partner—what can I do?
Many people feel different about their bodies after a cancer diagnosis or treatment and might not even look at their own body in the mirror. If you don’t look at your body, the fear of facing your body changes can often get worse. The more you avoid doing this, the harder it gets. Try looking at yourself as early as possible after your treatment, even if you just start with a few seconds and work your way up to getting more comfortable.
Be kind and accept your body. Over time, you’ll get more comfortable with how you look. Think of it like when you get into a hot shower. The longer you stay in, the more you turn up the hot water. You get used to the heat as you feel it and can handle more.
You may feel like you can’t show your body to your partner. When partners love each other, it doesn’t matter what you look like naked. This love doesn’t change because people’s bodies change. If you don’t let your partner see you semi-clothed or naked, you are missing an important and pleasurable sensual experience as a couple.
If it is hard for you to undress or show your partner your naked body, start slowly, like in a darker room or by covering some of your body parts that you’re less comfortable showing. You can slowly start to show more over time as you get more comfortable with your body. If you’re uncomfortable being undressed and this prevents you from being sexual with your partner, you can try having sex with some clothes on.
Talk with your partner about how you feel, especially if you’re concerned about what your partner thinks. You may find it reassuring to hear from your partner that you’re still loved and cherished even if you’re worried about how you look. Many people need to feel comfortable with themselves before they’re comfortable in front of their partner.
Is reconstruction right for me?
Treatment for some types of cancer may include surgery to remove a body part that might be noticed because it’s on the outside of the body, like a breast or a testicle. This is different than having surgery to remove a body part from inside the body, like a kidney or prostate.
Sometimes, you may have the option to have surgery to replace these parts with a prosthetic. Ask your healthcare provider about what your options are. There are many types of reconstruction, but your options will depend on your body and the type of cancer you have. It helps to learn more about reconstruction options by asking your healthcare provider and talking to other people who have had reconstruction.
It’s important to remember that no reconstruction option is a perfect fix and you won’t look the same as you did before surgery. Most people have some changes after surgery, like scarring or decreased feeling in the area. If you’re thinking about reconstruction, talk to your healthcare provider or go to an information session.
Practicing self-care
Self-care is about stopping and thinking about what your needs are, taking the time to care for yourself, and being as kind to yourself as you are to others.
You have to stop and take care of yourself before you can care for others. If you take a trip on a plane, you’re told to put on your own oxygen mask before you help someone else in an emergency. This is the same idea.
To start caring for yourself:
- Do activities that you enjoy.
- When you feel overwhelmed, it’s OK to say no to offers or opportunities.
- Get yourself a treat, like a fancy coffee or tea, and take some time out of your day to enjoy it.
- Go for a massage.
- Turn off your phone and read a book or watch a movie.
- Spend time with people who help you feel good about yourself.
- Take a warm, relaxing bath.
Is there anything I can do to feel better about myself?
These ideas might help you feel better about yourself after a cancer diagnosis or treatment:
- If you’ve lost your hair, talk to someone about wigs, hats, or head scarves.
- Get a prosthesis that fits well, or think about reconstructive surgery (talk to your doctor to find out if this is possible for you).
- Wear clothes that cover you more or dress in layers.
- Do light exercise to help prevent and decrease fatigue and make your body stronger.
- Take time to talk openly to your friends and family.
- Contact the
Look Good Feel Better program.
