This information is adapted from "Hope and healing: A practical guide for survivors of suicide," an Alberta Health Services resource.
What to expect after a suicide loss
If you’ve lost someone to suicide, you may feel numb and in shock for weeks or longer. The feeling of shock helps to protect you from the pain of what's happened.
You may have trouble thinking clearly, forget things, or find you can’t stop asking, “why?” These reactions are normal, as are other strong feelings such as:
- denial
- guilt
- anger
- shame
- confusion
- sadness
Sometimes people who've lost someone to suicide have suicidal thoughts themselves.
If you’re thinking of suicide, help is available. In an emergency, call 911 right away. You can also get help any time, day or night, from helplines and distress lines.
Coping with grief
There are things you can do to help yourself cope with grief after a suicide:
- Remember that healing takes time. Be patient with yourself. Take each moment or day one step at a time.
- Talk to someone you trust—a friend, family member, colleague, spiritual leader, or your healthcare provider.
- Join a suicide grief support group.
- Tell people what you need and how they can help you.
Telling friends and family
If you're not ready to talk about it, you can say, “Their death was a suicide, and I just can’t talk about it yet," or “They died by suicide.”
When you are ready, let people know it's OK to talk about the person who died, and they can help you by listening.
It can be hard to speak openly about suicide. There may be negative beliefs or attitudes (called stigma) around suicide. Talk to people you're comfortable with who will listen. They can grieve together and help you work through your grief.
Let others help you
You may feel confused at first and find it hard to cope. It's OK to ask family, friends, and your community supports for help.
Let people know you want to talk or spend time together. If you need help with practical tasks—such as childcare, replying to friends and family on your behalf, making funeral or memorial arrangements—ask for help. Your support people can also just listen.
When to talk to a healthcare provider
Talk to a healthcare provider if you're:
- using substances to cope with your feelings after your loss
- having trouble doing everyday tasks (such as getting out of bed or going to work or school)
- having strong emotions that are affecting your daily life, such as taking your anger out on others or blaming yourself
Find support
Help is available any time, day or night:
