Surround yourself with supportive family and close friends. Let them know how they can support you emotionally like listening while you talk about your baby and your sadness. You need time to grieve, rest, heal physically, and to connect with each other. Your feelings and reactions are your own. They may not be the same as anyone else’s and that’s okay. You will need some time to work through your grief in your own way.
Friends and family will see and feel your grief. They may not know how to share their concern or support. They may try to reassure you but sometimes the words they use may not feel supportive. If they want to do something for you, it’s okay to ask for what you want or need. Tell them how they can be helpful. Some examples of what you may want to ask for are:
- cook a meal for your family
- help telling others about your loss
- someone to be at home with you
Going back home after the death of a baby is often a very emotional time. It may make the loss of your hopes and dreams of a future with your baby more real.
For some families, taking the baby home for short time is an important part of grieving. If you decide that this is right for you, your healthcare team will offer options and talk to you about safe travel with your baby.
When you’re ready, you and your partner may wish to put away any baby things or furniture together, or as a family. It may be an important part of dealing with your loss for each of you. Some people may tell you that you won’t be as sad if you put these things away. It’s important to remember you don’t have to rush to do this.
Remember that you may need time to rest or go back to the hospital or clinic for follow-up appointments. Talk with your healthcare provider if you:
- need help arranging for time off work
- need a note for employment insurance benefits
- have other responsibilities that may stop you from getting rest
- aren’t sure that you can get back to the hospital quickly if you need to