Every family has different wishes about how their baby should be cared for after a loss. Your healthcare team will try to honour your cultural beliefs, values, and practices. How you choose to manage your baby’s remains is a personal decision.

If you are in a hospital or health centre, your healthcare team will ask if you wish to see your baby or the tissue that was passed. If your loss happened during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, you could have the hospital care for the remains or you may take them home with you. Talk to your healthcare team about what you want to do. For losses after 20 weeks, see making arrangements after a stillbirth.

If you have a miscarriage—this is in the first 20 weeks of pregnancy—at home, you may choose to collect tissues or samples from the remains for testing, for a private burial or cremation, a group cremation, or to honour your baby or say goodbye in any way you choose.

You may not want to collect or see the remains. That’s OK. It’s important that you do what feels right for you. If you have questions, talk to your healthcare provider about your options.

Collecting remains for a memorial or testing

To collect the remains at home, get a clean collection bowl. You can also get a plastic basin, sometimes called a hat, which can be placed securely under the toilet. These are available in most pharmacies, labs, or in early pregnancy assessment clinics.

You may also want to get clean towels or a blue absorbent pad from your pharmacy and disposable gloves.

Set up your collection area and then wash your hands well with soap and water before putting on gloves and after taking them off.

Collecting tissues for burial or memorial service

If you’re collecting tissues for a memorial service or private burial:

1. Put on disposable gloves before touching any materials from the miscarriage.
2. Place an absorbent pad or clean towel on a clean, flat surface.
3. Transfer any materials from the collection bowl onto the pad or towel.
4. Separate tissues from clots. You can tell the difference because tissue is firm and more solid, and clots are soft and break apart easily.
5. Put the gloves in the trash and wash your hands well with soap and water.

If you pass miscarriage tissues somewhere other than in your collection bowl, like in the shower or toilet:

• Try to collect what you can while wearing gloves.
• If you can’t tell the difference between tissues and clots, store anything that looks firm or different from regular clots.

If you’re collecting for a group memorial, call the pregnancy loss program near you to find out what to do after you have collected the tissues.

Collecting samples for testing

If you’re collecting samples for cytogenetic testing, follow the steps above, but do not separate tissues and clots. For this test, collect as much material as you can. The more you collect, more helpful it will be for testing.

After you have collected samples for testing, follow these steps to store them safely:

1. Put the samples into a clean container that has a tight-fitting lid. Do not put samples in any type of solution (such as formalin solution).
2. Write the date and time of collection on the container.
3. Seal the container tightly with its lid.
4. Put the sealed container in the refrigerator (not the freezer).
5. Ask your healthcare provider what to do after collecting the samples.

Examination of your baby

You may have lots of questions about why your baby died. For pregnancy loss between 14 to 20 weeks, an examination may be available. You can choose to have a limited examination or a more detailed complete examination. An autopsy is only available after 20 weeks.

Some families want an examination and others don’t. Everyone is different. Take time for you and your partner to think about what’s right for you. If you need to talk to a social worker or spiritual advisor, ask your healthcare provider.

If you choose an examination, you’ll be asked to sign a consent form. An examination may not give you the answers you want, but knowing more can help with your grieving. An examination might also find out about health concerns or other factors that may affect another pregnancy, which could change how you’re cared for during your next pregnancy. Talk with your doctor if you have questions.

What happens during an examination?

A doctor who specializes in finding the cause of death (pathologist) will look at the baby and the placenta (if present). Their examination may find the cause of death. A pathologist may also find information about the organs that could help you find out about any genetic concerns.

• Limited examination: You decide what will be examined. For example, you can ask for only the outside of the body to be examined, including photos and x-rays. You can also limit the exam to certain organs like the heart and lungs, or small samples of skin.
• Complete examination: A complete examination is when the body is examined on the inside and the outside. To examine the inside of the body, cuts are made to remove and look closely at the organs, tissues, and brain.

The first examination report is usually ready within a month. A complete report can take up to a few months. Let your healthcare provider know which doctor you’d like the report sent to, so they can review it with you.

If you wish to pick up your baby’s remains after an examination, ask what the process is in your area. In Alberta, you can only pick up your baby’s remains yourself if your baby was under 20 weeks gestation. When a baby over 20 weeks gestation is stillborn, you will need to work with a funeral home (see making arrangements after a stillbirth).​​