When a pregnancy ends in a loss, you and your partner may go through a wide range of feelings and emotions. Some parents may accept the loss of their baby as another life experience they have to deal with and move on. For others the loss can be overwhelming and it takes longer. These reactions are very individual. There is no right or wrong way to feel.
Family and friends
Surround yourself with close family and friends and allow them to help during this time. Often they’ll know you’re grieving, but they may not know how to support or help you. Let them know how they can help. For example, ask them to prepare meals, talk about your loss, or come for visits or just be with you. It’s OK to talk about what you want and need so they can support you. You need time to grieve, rest, heal, and connect with your partner.
Other supports in a healthcare facility
Sometimes it’s hard to talk to your family and friends about how you feel. Let your healthcare provider know if you’d like support from a social worker, spiritual care advisor, an indigenous liaison worker, or a leader from a cultural or spiritual community. A spiritual care advisor can help arrange for any practices, rituals, or they can help with connections to community leaders that you might need. You or your family members may also want to go to a sacred space or a place for spiritual support.
Going home after a loss can be very emotional. The experience can feel sudden, unexpected, or even like a bad dream. Once you’re home, you may notice you feel many different emotions including sadness, anger, or frustration. Some parents say that they feel alone and empty inside when they come home after the loss. For some families, taking the baby home for a short time is an important part of grieving. If this is something you’d like to do, talk to your health professional.
It may be difficult to arrange the time off over the next few days. It’s important that you have time to rest or have time to go to the hospital or clinic for appointments. Talk to your healthcare provider if you need some time off from work or school.
It’s normal after a miscarriage to feel tired, sad, or to cry. If it lasts more than a few weeks or if you feel overwhelmed by your loss, talk to your family doctor or a grief counsellor. You may also find that it helps to go to a support group where you can meet others who have had a similar loss.
Even though miscarriages are common, your pregnancy was likely very important to you and your partner. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Some parents quickly accept miscarriage as another life experience, while others are overwhelmed or devastated by the loss. It’s important to remember that everyone reacts differently.
Some parents might want to get pregnant right away, while others feel they need more time. Your body may heal sooner than your emotions. Give yourself time to heal physically and emotionally. If you’re worried and anxious about getting pregnant again talk to a grief counsellor or your doctor.