This is your baby. You have options for creating lasting memories. Give yourself and your partner time to think about how you feel. You’re a parent, and it’s important to find ways to remember your baby.

Making memories

Creating precious memories can be an important part of this parenting journey.

For example, you may want to:

• hold your baby
• take photos of your baby
• bring a special item from home to the hospital or health centre
• collect mementos, like a teddy bear, outfit, or recognition of life certificate (your healthcare team may offer you some mementos)

Think about what memories will be important for you and your family to create. Finding ways to remember can help. Your healthcare team will offer you the chance to create memories.

This is your time with your baby. Take the time you need to say goodbye. Some families dress or wrap their babies. Some read special stories to them. Do whatever feels right to you. If you have questions, talk to your healthcare team.

Mementos

You may get a memory box or bag to keep mementos, like an ultrasound picture, cards, or a toy. You can also make your own box or other container to hold these precious items. Some parents continue to add items or special mementos to the memory box, like holiday remembrances.

Some mementos are offered by Pregnancy and Infant Loss Bereavement Programs as a way to remember your baby. These mementos are made possible through donations from families and volunteers who may have had a similar loss.

Photos

Many families find that having photos of their baby helps with their grieving. It’s one way to remember your baby.

If it feels right for you, take photos of your baby. You can use your own camera or smartphone or ask if services donated from professional photographers are available in your area.

If you’re not sure if you want photos, you can take them now and decide later, when you feel ready.

Recognition of life

You may decide to privately recognize your baby’s life instead of having a formal ceremony. This could be with you, your partner, family, and friends, or with anyone who is meaningful to you.

For losses under 20 weeks, you can have a private ceremony in the hospital sacred space, your home or backyard, or at a place of your choice. Learn more about handling your baby’s remains and burial arrangements for miscarriage

Organized public services are available through some Pregnancy and Infant Loss Bereavement Programs. Check with the Early Pregnancy Assessment Program or the inpatient social worker for resources in your area. For loss over 20 weeks, see making arrangements after a stillbirth.

Write an obituary

An obituary is another way to honour the life and death of your baby. It can be long, short, detailed, or simple. You can also include poems or a personal message. Writing an obituary and sharing it with friends and family helps them to know about your hopes for your baby and the depth of your loss.

Family rituals

Many families honour their baby by:

• naming their baby
• planting a tree or garden
• creating, building, or buying a symbolic item
• choosing a special holiday arrangement
• writing a poem or letter
• creating a scrapbook or memory book
• volunteering, raising money for a good cause, or donating to a charity ​
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