Talk about your grief and how you feel with your partner. If you find it hard to talk about this, write your thoughts down before you share them. Caring family and friends can also help you work through your grief, even if they don’t fully understand what you’re going through or how you’re feeling.
Unhealthy ways to cope with grief include:
- working too much
- using alcohol or other drugs
- spending time away from home or your partner
- withdrawing or pulling away from your partner physically and emotionally
Try to stay away from these behaviours and talk about your grief when you can. It can take time to learn to cope in healthy ways.
You may also want to get professional support or go to a support group. Many parents find talking to other people who have been through a loss helps them learn more about their own grief. Support groups will give you the chance to meet parents who know and understand how you feel.
Multiple pregnancy loss
A multiple pregnancy is unique. Parents often form strong bonds with the babies and think about how the siblings would have been together. You may be grieving for more than one baby.
When one or more babies survive, you may feel a mix of different feelings. This may include worry for your continuing pregnancy and grief for your loss. It can be confusing when being excited about your new baby reminds you of the lost moments with a sibling. Even though you may have a pregnancy that continues, you may feel sad about the loss and anxious about the baby who is continuing to survive. It might help to go to a support group or get counselling.
Repeated pregnancy loss
Some woman have 2 or more pregnancy losses. This happens to about 1 in a 100 women (1%). About half of the time the cause is unknown. Known causes may include:
- genetic concerns
- uterus problems
- immune system problems
- environmental concerns
- many other factors
Many women who have repeated losses are able to have babies. Talk to your family doctor or healthcare provider to learn more about testing and options.