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After Your Miscarriage

A partner’s grief

You and your partner may have different responses to the miscarriage. Your attachment to the growing baby may be different. One parent may begin bonding from the moment the pregnancy is confirmed. Another parent may not begin bonding until the pregnancy is further along, like after seeing an ultrasound or feeling the baby kick. For other parents, bonding may not happen until after the baby is born. The different timings of attachment can affect how a parent grieves.

Unfortunately, a partner’s grief may be missed. It can be hard to understand or relate to your partner in your grief. This is normal. Try not to judge each other’s reactions.

Remember, most partners feel excited about the pregnancy, too. A pregnancy loss can cause a loss of hope and the joy of becoming a new parent. This can make your partner feel:

  • sad
  • angry
  • helpless
  • a sense of failure
  • powerless

In some cases, feelings about a previous loss can resurface. As a partner, it’s OK to talk to others about how you feel, especially with your birthing partner.​

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